Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Traditional Art / Student Member Black heartFemale/United States Groups :iconlazytown-couples: Lazytown-Couples
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 168 Deviations 8,842 Comments 10,294 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Groups

Journal History

Activity


what more can this world take from me? I'm already suffering...
Hey everyone, I want to explain why I've been depressed. There's been things going on in my personal life as well as here on DA. I feel like nobody on this site cares about me. People view my work but I rarely ever get favorites or comments on anything. I don't think I have any talent, I'm just useless. My mom says she likes my drawings but that's only because I'm her daughter. I'm horrible at digital drawings, and I can't really draw people realistically. No one ever comments on my journals either, no one ever asks if I'm ok or even says a simple "hello." I feel lonely all the time in my personal life, people barely ever text me and when I text my "friends" they barely ever text back. No one will hang out with me either. It's hard as hell for me to make friends or get a job because I'm socially awkward. I wish I didn't have to try so hard. I've been trying to get Anthony to be with me again but now I'm starting to wonder why I even try...He got with some other girl the day after we broke up, they had a break up and now he's back with her again...I can't stand her. I hate her for taking him from me.  My family hates Anthony for treating me so badly, even though he apologized to me. (We get along most of the time but it seems like talking is getting me no where.) I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I've tried for three months now to get him back but he refuses to leave that STUPID BITCH. ugh. Why do I only attract shitty guys? Nobody decent is ever interested in me. Only the losers and abusers are and by that I mean people who use me and don't care about me. (I'm not saying Anthony is one of them I'm just saying that he didn't treat me as well as he should have.) I think I just need to get the fuck out of this miserable state and go somewhere else. I don't belong here. The people here are rude and selfish. All men care about is getting laid and I'm fucking sick of it. When I won't put out they cheat on me and lie about it. Why can't I find someone who will love me unconditionally and treat me with the respect that I deserve? I don't need a "perfect man" I just need a relationship that's real. I'm tired of wasting my time on people who don't give a single fuck about me. I've been bullied all my life for being different and I've been taken advantage of by people multiple times. I wish people would be more understanding and forgiving but all they do is judge judge judge. Not only are people rude and unforgiving but they constantly bring up shit that I did in the past like mistakes I've made and stuff I'm not proud of. I'm fucking sick of it. I've changed into a better person and I'm trying to do something with my life and people don't give two shits and a fuck less that I've changed. All they do is talk shit and judge. I'm sick of all these middle aged losers taking up all the jobs. No one here is hiring except fucking mcdonald's and I really don't wanna work at fast food. It's depressing and the customers are rude. (I've heard stories from people with fast food jobs.) I just want to have a happy life, I want friends and I want to feel like I belong somewhere. I want to be invited places, I want to be welcome in someone's home. I'm tired of people blocking me on facebook for no reason. (I've been blocked by so many people that I barely ever use facebook cause I have no one left to talk to.) You wouldn't believe how long people hold a grudge. A ton of people are still mad at me for shit I did years ago! (Seriously what the fuck is wrong with the people around here?) I'm really starting to hate people. Why can't I be happy like everyone else? I want to be important to someone for once in my life. I don't even know why I try to get close to people. I just get fucked over and I'm sick of wasting my time on people who don't care about me.
  • Mood: Pissed Off
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: sailor moon manga
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
spongebob and sandy rainy day by BlueMoonScorpio
spongebob and sandy rainy day
This took me a while to make but I'm pretty happy with the results. (I'm not as good with digital art. I am much better at drawing traditional artwork.)
Made with DeviantArt muro
Loading...
Hey guys, how's it going? I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read my journal, but if you don't read it all the way through I'll understand. I'm sorry that I haven't been making very much artwork lately, I got a job a few months ago and that's been keeping me pretty busy. (Well technically it's job training but I still get paid.) I have a disability so I had to go through BVR to get a job. I only have one more week of work left and it's making me sad because I really love the people I work with. They're all so nice and no one has a problem with me there. (This is the only social setting I've been in where I have been completely accepted and loved and I'm going to miss it.) I'm gonna be getting a permanent job soon but it's gonna take at least two months, maybe even three. It's gonna suck not having a job or getting a paycheck but there's nothing I can do about it except working my ass off and doing a good job where I'm at so I can get good reports. Someone has been calling my work from a blocked number and has accused me of stealing trinkets and clothes. First of all I don't even know what a trinket is, and second of all they've checked the footage and can clearly see that I haven't stolen anything whatsoever. What really creeps me out is that whoever called knows that I still work there because they called the other store and said they were angry that I haven't gotten fired yet....This is why I have trust issues and hate people, hate crowds. I don't do drama and whoever's calling is a coward who keeps calling from a blocked number and won't tell anyone who they are. I really wanna find out who this person is. I have a few ideas but I don't know for sure. 

My grandma and my uncle are going to Disneyworld next month and it pisses me off that I wasn't invited. I never get to go anywhere there's always an excuse for why I can't leave this fucking state. I hate it here it's cold it's boring and the people here suck. There's people who are still holding grudges for stuff that happened back in high school. (I'm 20 now.) People back in California aren't like that. They get over all the stupid shit a lot faster than these bastards where I live. Someone the other day accused me of being a liar and I've never lied to them once. Then he said I would end up putting my ex friend (his girlfriend) in jail if she hung out with me. Things were great during my Freshman year of high school, back when I actually had friends. But they all walked out of my life except the older ones.

Anthony and I broke up in January but we've been talking about getting back together.  But he's been SO busy, that we haven't talked on the phone in over a week because they work him like a dog at his job. (He works twelve hour shifts.) We text everyday but he never has time for a phone call these days, and I haven't seen him since December. It sucks.

Anyway I'll be making more art, I'll try to submit something every couple days, but I can't make any promises because sometimes I lose inspiration and run out of ideas. Anyway tell me what you think about all this. I'll update you guys when something else happens in my life. (But nothing really happens here, my life is pretty boring...)
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: A phone call
  • Reading: monstrous beauty
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
Hey everyone, I want to explain why I've been depressed. There's been things going on in my personal life as well as here on DA. I feel like nobody on this site cares about me. People view my work but I rarely ever get favorites or comments on anything. I don't think I have any talent, I'm just useless. My mom says she likes my drawings but that's only because I'm her daughter. I'm horrible at digital drawings, and I can't really draw people realistically. No one ever comments on my journals either, no one ever asks if I'm ok or even says a simple "hello." I feel lonely all the time in my personal life, people barely ever text me and when I text my "friends" they barely ever text back. No one will hang out with me either. It's hard as hell for me to make friends or get a job because I'm socially awkward. I wish I didn't have to try so hard. I've been trying to get Anthony to be with me again but now I'm starting to wonder why I even try...He got with some other girl the day after we broke up, they had a break up and now he's back with her again...I can't stand her. I hate her for taking him from me.  My family hates Anthony for treating me so badly, even though he apologized to me. (We get along most of the time but it seems like talking is getting me no where.) I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I've tried for three months now to get him back but he refuses to leave that STUPID BITCH. ugh. Why do I only attract shitty guys? Nobody decent is ever interested in me. Only the losers and abusers are and by that I mean people who use me and don't care about me. (I'm not saying Anthony is one of them I'm just saying that he didn't treat me as well as he should have.) I think I just need to get the fuck out of this miserable state and go somewhere else. I don't belong here. The people here are rude and selfish. All men care about is getting laid and I'm fucking sick of it. When I won't put out they cheat on me and lie about it. Why can't I find someone who will love me unconditionally and treat me with the respect that I deserve? I don't need a "perfect man" I just need a relationship that's real. I'm tired of wasting my time on people who don't give a single fuck about me. I've been bullied all my life for being different and I've been taken advantage of by people multiple times. I wish people would be more understanding and forgiving but all they do is judge judge judge. Not only are people rude and unforgiving but they constantly bring up shit that I did in the past like mistakes I've made and stuff I'm not proud of. I'm fucking sick of it. I've changed into a better person and I'm trying to do something with my life and people don't give two shits and a fuck less that I've changed. All they do is talk shit and judge. I'm sick of all these middle aged losers taking up all the jobs. No one here is hiring except fucking mcdonald's and I really don't wanna work at fast food. It's depressing and the customers are rude. (I've heard stories from people with fast food jobs.) I just want to have a happy life, I want friends and I want to feel like I belong somewhere. I want to be invited places, I want to be welcome in someone's home. I'm tired of people blocking me on facebook for no reason. (I've been blocked by so many people that I barely ever use facebook cause I have no one left to talk to.) You wouldn't believe how long people hold a grudge. A ton of people are still mad at me for shit I did years ago! (Seriously what the fuck is wrong with the people around here?) I'm really starting to hate people. Why can't I be happy like everyone else? I want to be important to someone for once in my life. I don't even know why I try to get close to people. I just get fucked over and I'm sick of wasting my time on people who don't care about me.
  • Mood: Pissed Off
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: sailor moon manga
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water

Critiques

What are you doing here ? by CameDorea

This is a really cool drawing! One of my favorite things about it is that you added blue streaks to his hair. This makes the piece even...

Fox 08 by Alannah-Hawker

This is a really amazing photo of a fox. I love how close up this fox is. This looks like it could be made into a painting. The level o...

NaruHina - Underwater Kiss by xXnessa-chanXx

I love the affect of the water on this piece this makes it a really nice touch to have. How did you do this? I also really like how you...

Action 6 by ElianaStock

I really like how you used two different photos of the girl, one more vivid then the last. It adds a really nice affect to the piece. T...

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Wishlist

Friends

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconpiixxxiie:
PiixXxiiE Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the Fav 
Reply
:iconbluemoonscorpio:
BlueMoonScorpio Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconbruedance:
Bruedance Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch! :aww: I really appreciate it and I hope you will find my future arts good enough too))
Reply
:iconbluemoonscorpio:
BlueMoonScorpio Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
it's no problem. :) I really love your drawings
Reply
:iconbruedance:
Bruedance Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww: I'm happy))
Reply
:iconbluemoonscorpio:
BlueMoonScorpio Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
What kind of tablet do you have?
Reply
:iconrebellet:
Rebellet Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favs! :)
Reply
:iconbluemoonscorpio:
BlueMoonScorpio Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
youre so welcome :) I love your art <3
Reply
:iconpetrexkgb:
petrexkgb Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave, you have a really interesting art style!
Reply
:iconbluemoonscorpio:
BlueMoonScorpio Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
thanks. and no problem, I like your stuff too :) which artwork of mine do you like?
Reply
Add a Comment: